Coping

It has stunned me to discover how many women have been through what I'm going through now.  It breaks my heart to think that something so traumatizing could be so common and my heart goes out to all those women who feel or have felt what I'm feeling.

One of the most helpful things has been the people who have told me their stories and shared their grief with me during my own dark time.  It's helpful to know I'm not crazy and it's okay to feel this way for however long it takes.  I've thought about sharing the details of what I'm feeling and going through here since it was so helpful to hear the stories of others, but I'm not comfortable posting everything about my experience in this setting.  However, if you or someone you know ever needs to talk, please feel free to contact me and I'll be happy to talk about it. I've found that I actually prefer being open about my experience with others who ask and are understanding, and it can be a very healing experience to share even the deepest pain when it's with someone experiencing the same pain you are.  Especially since it's so painful to talk to people about it who make it obvious that they don't understand.  So if anyone needs an understanding ear, my offer stands indefinitely.  Just wanted to put that out there.

Also, THANK YOU to all those who have reached out to me either through comments, emails, conversations, flowers, or anonymous prayers.  I love you and thank you so much.  No amount of advice counts for much in a situation like this and no one can fix it, but love helps.  So thank you for your love.

I'm still never too far from tears, and this still hurts more than I can express.  I can't believe it's been over a month.  People have said the pain will never go away but that it will get easier to deal with, and so far that has held true.  But life is marching on and I'm dealing with my grief in the quiet moments that I have alone as the rest of my life speeds along as usual.  So I'm functioning just fine, and even moving forward, but I know I'll never be the same.