So a couple of weeks ago I was released as a Primary teacher. I was so distraught! I cried for two days :( I'll miss my kids so much!! I had the 4 and 5 year olds. They taught me so many things. The most important thing they taught me was how to love. When I started in that calling, it drove me crazy! The kids would never sit still, they drooled and their noses ran and they were always touching me.... I was so fed up with it! Especially because I had been hoping to teach Sunday School or something that would help me study the scriptures deeper, and here I was saying "Jesus loves you, here's a lollipop, go color something" every week. Yah, here I'm thinking that I was dumbing myself down for this calling, but in reality I was about to learn one of the most important lessons I'd ever learn.
^Joseph, Jocelyn, Jaiden and me on the day I was released. Unfortunately you can totally tell I had been crying all morning!^
A few months into my calling, Jaiden, said to me, "Sister Robinson? Remember how last week you were talking about the Spirit and what it feels like? Remember when you told us about when you were sad and you thought Jesus was hugging you? Well I was thinking about it, and I think I felt the Spirit this week. I felt really happy and warm inside and I kind of felt like Jesus was with me. Did I feel the Spirit?" With tears in my eyes I told her that, yes, she had felt the Spirit. This girl was 4 yrs old and I suddenly realized she was actually absorbing the things I was teaching! That was a pivotal point for me. It was from that point on I started caring a lot more about preparing my lessons and teaching those kids well, and I learned a lot as a result.
A couple of months ago we had a lesson about not using the Lord's name in vain and it was one of the best experiences I've ever had. The point of the lesson was to teach the kids that names should be used properly, and it makes people sad when you call them by the wrong name or use their name wrong because names are important and they each mean something special (then you tie it into the Lord's name).
Funny story... While trying to make the point that each child's name meant something and that their mothers spent a lot of time choosing their name, I told a little "story" about a mom who got a really big belly (comment from Jocelyn, "Hey my dad has a really big belly too!" hmm... not quite the same! lol. Her dad is the bishop btw) and then out of the belly came a baby! And the mommy looked at the baby for a long time and finally said, "This will be... Carissa!" And I went through and did the story for each child in the class... "This will be Jocelyn!" "This will be Joseph!" "This will be Dominque!" "This will be Jaiden!" And when I finished, Joseph jumped in and finished it off with, "And when you were born, your mommy looked at you and said, 'This will be Sister Robinson!!'" hahaha, I about died laughing!!!!
Then I asked each child what they wanted people to think of when they thought of their name, and I got the most beautiful answers! Most of the kids said things like "Happy" or "Nice to people" or "Smiling" and that was sweet. Jocelyn said, "I want people to think that I love Jesus!" And I asked her what she could do so that people would think of that when they thought of her name. She looked really thoughtful for a minute, then she jumped up on her chair and shouted, "Everybody! I love Jesus!!!" It was so cute!!! Then I asked Joseph. He just looked at the floor and said, "I want them to think of my heart." That touched me. Later when the kids were coloring pictures to represent the answers they had given me, Joseph said, "Sister Robinson? How do you spell heart? Is it L-O-V-E?" I told him that actually spelled love, but I could tell him how to spell heart if he wanted me to. He said, "No I'll just put love, because when people think of my heart they will think of love." He was being so genuine and affecting me so much with every word that I hardly knew how to react. I just hugged him and told him I loved him and let him finish his picture.
These kids taught me that people aren't about their exteriors at all. We have to look past the snotty noses and temper tantrums and look at people's souls. What I learned to see in these kids was their capacity to love. What if I could learn to see everyone in that light? I think then I could truly know what it means to love as Christ loves. When the Lord thinks of us, he thinks of our hearts. When we think of others, what do we think of? It should be their hearts. And hopefully others see us the same way. Hopefully when they think of our hearts, they'll think of love. I'll miss teaching my kids, but even more, I'll miss being taught by them. Thankfully I still get to see them with my new calling as Primary Secretary. It's hard to see them every week and not go with them to class after sharing time, but, as Patty Gotsch said, now I have even more kids to learn to love! I know the Lord wants me in this new calling, and hopefully I learn something about coming closer to my Savior in this calling as well. But I'll always have a special place in my heart for Jocelyn, Jospeh, Jaiden, Carissa and Dominique. I really loved those children and they've changed my heart forever.
Joseph, Dominique, Jocelyn, Jaiden, Carissa and Sister Robinson :)
