Six weeks!

As of Tuesday I’m six weeks along!  Apparently I know nothing about being pregnant.  All of my preconceptions have been wrong!  I thought at only six weeks I wouldn’t even notice I was pregnant and my body would be just the same.  Yaaaaah…. Not even close.  For the last two weeks I’ve only had 1-2 hours a day when I haven’t felt completely miserable.  I’m so light-headed, I have to use to restroom ALL the time, I can smell EVERYTHING, and I feel like I’m just dragging all the time.  I think the worst part is feeling so darn fragile.  I can’t help Aaron lift things, or push myself physically and that is so not me.  That said, I have random moments throughout every day when I can’t stop smiling and feeling SO excited about this blessing! 

To be honest, I feel a little guilty that I don’t love every second of being pregnant, but it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be.  I still feel extremely blessed every second of the day, but physically I feel awful. 

Something else that I was absolutely wrong about is I did not think I’d have any semblance of a belly this early!  Aaron and I had planned to take “belly pictures” at the six week mark so we could have kind of a ‘before’ picture in the series of belly pictures.  Yah…I guess we should have taken a five week picture because ever since I woke up last Sunday, I’ve got a little belly going on.  Never thought that would happen so early!!  And in case you’re wondering, no I’m not just getting fat, lol.  I know my body and this is not how I look when I gain weight.  Plus I can’t suck it in!  I tried…which made Aaron freak out and say I was squishing the baby, haha!  

Oh and I had my first moment of those mood swings everyone talks about today.  I was driving to work, rocking out to a great country song, when I just burst into tears!  Nothing was wrong, I didn’t feel upset or anything, but there I was, bawling like a baby in my car for a couple of minutes.  It was so weird!  I just laughed at myself, dabbed my eyes and moved on.  It was kind of fun to tell the story when I got to work.

Let’s see what else is going on at the six week mark… just learning more and more about this pregnancy thing.  It’s interesting to shop for vitamins rather than calories.  It’s a whole different perspective on food!  Aaron has been awesome about keeping me on the ball with what I can and can't eat.  It was fun going to grocery shopping with him for all the "pregnancy super-foods!"  It's funny what I can't eat.  No hot dogs??  C'mon... dumb.  Oh well, lol.  It’s also super shocking to me that I have to use the restroom so often.  I didn’t think that happened until the baby was big enough to push on your bladder, but my doctor explained to me that your kidneys go into overdrive when you’re pregnant.  Plus you have to drink more water.  So between those two factors, I get to see a lot more of my bathroom!  I can’t imagine what it will be like when the baby IS big enough to push on my bladder in addition to everything else!

Work is going pretty well.  It’s tough because I have to take frequent bathroom breaks, and be constantly munching on pretzels or something, so I feel like I look like a slacker half the time, when I really feel like I’m working a lot harder since everything seems to require more energy now.  Luckily I’m in a position where I can sit a lot, because those few times when I do have to stand at a register or run around the store are very taxing and I could never do it regularly.  Especially with feeling as light-headed as I do…I’ve already nearly fallen four times in the last week.  I’ve caught myself every time, thankfully.  I also used to intervene anytime a coworker had a difficult, rude customer, but now I avoid them like the plague.  I just can’t handle the stress, plus I have a much harder time empathizing with people when I’m feeling like I’m about to pass out.  Just sayin’.

I know I already said this a few times, but it really is so shocking to me how many changes my body is experiencing already.  I had no idea how much of a total change I’d experience physically, mentally and emotionally, and definitely didn’t think the change would be right away.  I guess I just always thought anything difficult about being pregnant was all related to being huge and uncomfortable once you had a big belly - I was extremely naïve!  I joined a discussion group online called Due in May (self-explanatory...) and it’s really fun to be able to see what other women are going through and realize that I’m not the only one, and also that everyone is different.  I think that collectively pregnancy is a unique experience for everyone, but there are always lots of other women you can relate to in various elements of your experience.  It’s really fun to find those similarities and not feel crazy or alone!  For example, there are a few other women on the board who are reporting little bellies showing up.  Yay!  I’m not the only one showing super early!  My coworkers noticed it already and were starting to wonder if I was wrong about how far along I was!  But no, I’m definitely six weeks, just showing early and feeling a lot sicker than I thought I would.  And feeling a lot more blessed that I ever thought I’d be. 

I can’t believe I got so lucky.