Final letter - Birth!

Birth!

     

     Hello Claire!!  You’re here!!!  On Sunday we had your Dad’s birthday dinner, then I wrote my last letter to you, and your Dad went to take a nap while I worked on sewing a ladybug hooded towel for you.  Once your Dad woke up, we had cake and ice cream and presents for his birthday.  I was having really bad heartburn as usual and went to take some Tums – and there were only two left.  I told your Dad, “Well, we have to have the baby now because I’m all out of Tums!” and two hours later, I went into labor!  Your Dad noticed I was in labor before I would admit it.  I told him I was just cringing from the pain of you moving around, but he said I was “cringing on a schedule” and kept a close eye on me.  I ate a big bowl of popcorn and then tried to go to bed, but there was no ignoring those contractions.  

      I went into labor at 9pm and by 2am I finally let your Dad take me to the hospital.  Since it was the middle of the night, all the lights in town were blinking yellow, so we didn’t have to worry about any red lights, which was nice.  We went into the Emergency Room entrance and told them we needed to go to the Birth Center.  Someone brought me a wheelchair and I signed a couple of papers.  The girl who wheeled me to the Birth Center was a very nice, young girl and she asked us lots of questions about what your nursery looked like and how excited we were.  She seemed nervous and told me to tell her if I felt you coming out because she could always start running if she had to, haha, little did she know… we still had 21 hours of labor ahead of us!  Yikes!  The doctors and nurses kept a very close eye on your heart rate all throughout those hours of labor because there was no variation and they said that meant you needed to come out very soon.  Around 5pm that night the doctor said your heart rate was dropping and they weren’t sure what was wrong but they thought you might have a knot in your umbilical cord.  They said they could let me keep laboring if I still wanted to try to have you naturally, but they strongly recommended against it because I wasn’t progressing and you seemed to be in distress.  I looked at your Dad and we communicated without even speaking – we both wanted to get you here safely and we didn’t care about anything else.  I told them to go ahead and do the c-section they were recommending.  The doctor looked very relieved when I gave her the green light and she hurried out of the room to get things going.  

      I was suddenly so afraid that maybe my worst fears about your safety were coming true and maybe you wouldn’t be alright.  I knew I only had a couple of minutes before everything got started, so I quickly asked your Dad for a Priesthood blessing.  He immediately moved to my side with no hesitation and gave me the exact blessing that I needed.  He blessed me to be calm and for you to be healthy.  I found out later that some of my close friends were praying for the same thing at the same time.  Moments later, the room was filled with people and everyone was hurrying to get ready for your arrival.  Your Dad put on a white full body suit, a blue hair cover and a mask.  They also gave me a hair cover and wheeled me down to the operating room.  They put up a blue sheet and pinched my stomach all over to make sure I couldn’t feel anything.  A few minutes later they got started.  Your Dad was sitting on a chair to my right and held my hand through the whole thing.  I felt surprisingly peaceful and calm through the whole thing and was so glad to be able to hold your Dad’s hand.  The anesthesiologist was so friendly and talked us through the whole procedure.  I was listening closely to the commentary from the doctors as they performed the surgery.  The doctors made a lot of “whoa!” comments as they first saw you because you were twisted sideways and face up and you had the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck.  They said you never would have come out on your own and one doctor said you probably wouldn’t have made it if we had continued to labor for so long with the cord around your neck.  What a relief to know we made the right decision!  

     

     As soon as I started to hear that they could see you, I began to feel very anxious to see you, I had to know you were really okay!  I remember fixating my eyes on the edge of that blue curtain, anxious to see you come around it.  Your Dad saw my face change and started to try to tell me to relax, but a few seconds later, they brought you around the blue curtain and we could see you!  Your Dad was up in a flash to be close to you and help cut the cord and take pictures.  As soon as I saw you I melted into tears and could not stop crying.  I was so relieved that you were really here and you were okay!  I just cried and cried and stared at you.  You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.  All I can remember thinking at the time was, “I know you.”  It was amazing to me that you were so familiar to me.  You weren’t some random baby that I was seeing, you were mine and I knew you.  We’d spent a lot of time together the last few months and that bond was still there even though you were outside of me now.  I was not expecting that feeling, but it was incredible.  Your Dad brought you over to me after a few minutes and I got to touch your face and kiss you for the first time.  It was such a powerful experience and I will never forget that moment.  I knew in that moment that all our prayers had finally been answered and that all the heartache and pain of the last few years was worth it because our miracle was finally here.  We love you so much and we are beyond thrilled that you’re here!  

Love, Mama