Made a few changes to the blog, hopefully it works alright. Mostly I wanted to get rid of the creepy spinning baby I had on top of the blog before and then I messed something up on my template that I couldn't figure out how to fix, aaaaand here we are. This is what happens when pain keeps you up all night!
Today (well, Friday) was tough - my pain was out of control! It felt very different than usual - tight hard pains shooting into my back and downward on and off for a few minutes at a time a few times an hour. The frequency increased from a couple an hour to 4-6 times an hour so I called my doctor and she said to stay off my feet, watch it closely and call her back if it got worse because it could be pre-term labor. Anyway, it got better over the next couple of hours so who knows what happened. Doctor is being even more insistent about resting now - as if I could rest any more than I am! Good grief woman. She even said, "Sounds like you've been a bit too active." Umm...I lay on the couch 24/7... short of getting a catheter I don't think I could be less active! There are so many things I want to do that I can't! With the weather changing I want to run around my house moving coats from the basement to the hall closet and shift the order of my drawers so the long sleeve shirts are more accessible now than the short sleeve ones, and put out fall decorations, and all those fun seasonal change household maintenance things I enjoy! Shoot, just standing in the kitchen long enough to make a good meal for myself would be nice! And to be honest I really want to go back to work. I miss it so much. But I'm not taking any chances - it isn't fun, but I'll have years to run my house or do other things - this is my time to get this baby here. So I don't do any of those other things or take any risks at all. I'm doing my best and can only hope my body will do the rest.
Looking forward to our ultrasound on Monday for extra peace of mind and finding out if there's a boy or girl in there! I'm excited to know but I SO don't care at all - I just want a healthy baby and not a stillborn or premie that doesn't survive or something else that my paranoid mind is convincing myself will happen. I'm trying not to get freaked out or frustrated, but honestly sometimes I just get so MAD that this has been so hard. This journey of infertility, miscarriage and a difficult pregnancy has been overwhelming to say the least. I don't understand why I can't have a normal, healthy experience with procreation like so many other people. Well, as long as this ends with a healthy baby, I will shut my mouth about my complaints. I know that even though others seem to have it easier when it comes to this, there are so many who have it SO much worse than me so I should just count my blessings. I am so grateful for what I have, but so afraid I won't have it for long.
I'm just nervous. I want this baby so badly.
Sounds like you were contracting my dr told me the same thing every time. Rest and drink lots of water. I was drinking 96oz+ a day already how do you drink more? I'm sorry this journey has been so hard for you but you will come back in a year and read these posts and think wow was i really in that much pain because you forget it all. As for the worried about still birth and premature labor i struggled with it so bad. I had a bad feeling something terrible was going to happen almost the entire pregnancy. I bought a doppler and used it daily sometimes more than once. It reassured me and made me feel more connected. Let me know if you ever want to borrow it ;). Sending big hugs from me on my couch to you on yourse (for a better reason)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I can come help you with fall chores you need done and cooking. My foot should be good to go in a week.
ReplyDeleteYou are so strong Janae ! I think about you everyday and wish I could help come clean your house or make a pot of warm soup... I hope and pray baby Robinson continues to grow and develop the way she (ok.... Or he) is suppose to.
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